Saturday, February 18, 2006

15 Minutes Gone 16

It has been revealed that Kristin Cavallari of Laguna Beach "fame," had her show UPN Get This Party Started quietly pulled from the UPN line up for sweeps week because it received a 0.4 Nielsen rating.

Since here at ATI we have absolutely no idea what exactly a 0.4 rating means, we decided to draw comparisons. We broke into the UPN national broadcasting station, and had our monkey mascot, Spanky, smear feces on himself and on the lens of the camera that was taping the action. This aired from 3-4 p.m. today, and it received a 16.7 Nielsen rating. So yeah, 0.4 is not a good rating.

Even more sad than that:

A repeat of the 2001 Martin Lawrence-led feature "Black Knight" will sub in for
the network's Tuesday schedule on February 21 while repeats of "Girlfriends"
& "Half & Half" will fill the 9:00/8:00c hour on Tuesday, February 28.
Wow, what a blow. That's like saying, "you're singing didn't get very good reviews, so we're gonna replace you with Willam Hung."


Wifely Contract: A Sensible Idea

Long story short, some guy named Travis Frey is facing charges for child pornography and kidnapping his own wife. One of the pieces of evidence against him is a Wifely Contract that he wrote up that his wife provided to the court.

It seems to cover all the bases, I just wish there was a ready-made version for girlfriends. I'm not ready for marriage yet.

Creed and Kid Rock Make Whoopie

Bbblllllllleeeeellllldfjksjakjskdfaksjdfkjaweifqlfzoxvn. Now there's vomit all over the screen.

Us Weekly just revealed that Scott Stapp and Kid Rock are in a sex video together. I'm not sure which person has it worse?

Possible dialog inside their heads:
[Scott Stapp] Oh no! I'm in engaging in groupie action in the same bus as the scummiest motherfucker on the planet!
[Kid Rock] Oh no! I'm in engaging in groupie action with the biggest douchebag in the world!

Via Us Magazine:
The tape shows both stars involved in explicit sex acts on a tour bus while
touring together six years ago. The two don't engage in any sex acts together,
but are seen and heard talking to one another during the acts. Footage was
acquired by the Red Light District, the same company that distributed Paris
Hilton's infamous sex tape One Night in Paris.
If you actually can stomach this kinda thing, feel free to check out Fleshbot's hosting of the preview.

African Nations Not Grabbing Much Gold

Well, Kenya hasn't been making a very good showing in Torino, we're pretty sure they're just saving up energy so they can run circles around us in Bejing 2008.

And even though Bode is sucking it up, US has still managed to grab quite a few medals, 10 total so far, 6 being gold. Check out the full medal coverage on NBC medal tracker.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Celebrities and Politics, like Pop Rocks and Soda

You've got to love how in-tune celebrities are with the world at large. They're always ready to put their opinions into the mainstream because hey, you can trust them, they're celebrities! They've been in movies.

Most notably recently, Alec Baldwin blogged about how happy he is that Cheney shot a lawyer, in particular. He's convinced that Whittington, the attorney/victim in this incident, is going to sue the pants off of Cheney. Too bad for Baldwin the guy came out this morning, even before Alec's post went up, to say that "accidents do and will happen," and "I [am] deeply sorry for all that vice president Cheney has had to go through this past week."

Yep, you're right, Alec...sounds like Cheney's fucked.